To confess
by Terfle
Summary: Bernie confesses to Ric about her feelings for Serena


A quick stop at the office led to a drink and a conversation that Bernie never thought she'd have.

'I notice you and Serena seem to be getting on rather well. I heard that you go round to hers a lot.'

Bernie's slight smile confirmed it.

'Well Jason can be a bit much to handle sometimes so sometimes Serena needs backup.'

'Very kind of you.'

He saw Bernie's annoyed expression.

'It's not out of pity' she retorted defensively. 'I like being with them, sharing downtime and dinner, engaging with Jason.'

Ric noted that she deliberately didn't say the same about Serena.

'I didn't mean it like that.'

She scowled.

'You seem quite protective of them.'

They sipped and thought about it.

'Well. Yes I suppose I am. I know Serena tells Jason that it doesn't matter about anyone else and he's the most important thing but…she's got no support. She deals everything on her own and I just want to be there for them.'

'Serena's always been like that. She concealed the truth about her mother almost to the end when it became too obvious not to notice. Adrienne was always vicious to her. Serena seemed to have it all under control but there was always a point where she slipped up. Every time one of her family members graced Holby with their dubious presence, there was always that chink in the armour just ready to crack open with the right trigger. Edward was a master at it.'

Bernie stared morosely into her drink.

'I haven't met her ex-husband.'

'You're missing out on nothing.'

He paused, thinking about whether to tell her about it. He decided to so that Bernie knew all the facts.

'I must admit, when Serena's ex-husband made himself known, we are all behind him to an extent. Serena started ruffling feathers as soon as she stepped in here and all of us were secretly hoping for her downfall. We got it. He was the only man that could ever break her. One shift she started screaming and shouting at him, made quite the scene. He had a terrible effect on her and we could see why she kept him away from us.'

He acknowledged Bernie's disgusted expression. She had a right to be furious by the way Serena been treated by all of them.

'I came to see that while we resented her takeover somewhat, in the end we respected her. That's a big part of why she's one of my best friends. I suppose that's what happens when you don't make a move on each other.'

Bernie was glad that they hadn't. He read her mind and smiled.

'Edward didn't respect her; he manipulated her, he lied and humiliated her for years and his aim was to make a fool out of her every time. After watching him in action, we could see where her vow of lifetime grudges came from. And I don't blame her. Their daughter takes after him somewhat. All those family members and not one of them helped her. It's like they exist to wind her up, to test her to her limits and then screw with her emotions and affections.'

Bernie was appalled. Serena was just too good at making everyone sure that she was indomitable. She hated that there existed people that could make Serena feel otherwise.

Ric saw her face and leapt on alert, looking for signs of something he'd only just started to realise.

'That's not right.'

Did he detect a tremble in her voice? She really did care, more than anyone would have known. He proceeded delicately.

'Bernie? How invested are you in this little family unit?

Sneaking a sideways glance at her, he was gratified to see the blush rise to her cheeks, his suspicion had been correct. She stayed looking down into her drink but her shoulders had tensed and he could tell she wasn't ready to talk about it. They sat in silence, sipping through their thoughts.

'Serena is someone I care for very much' she started. He kept his eyes on his drink. He wanted to hear her talk. Bernie never talked about personal things.

'Every so often she shows another side to her that makes me like her even more. The way she didn't hesitate to choose Jason over Robbie's selfish insistence makes me respect her even more. She sacrificed a relationship for a motherless hard to understand boy she barely knew because he's her family. Not everyone would do that.'

Ric agreed. He was surprised to hear about Robbie. He hadn't known why they had split up and said so. He too, had even more respect for their colleague for that. She'd thrown herself into the role of auntie and was excelling, like she always did. He pushed for a little more.

'And the way things are going between you now?'

She looked at him in alarm. 'What do you mean?'

He threw caution to the wind.

'I mean that you are very fond of her.'

'We're friends.'

'More than that I think. At least on your part.'

She tried to find a way to deny it but there was no point. She avoided his gaze.

'Maybe.'

'Aha. It's only occurred to me recently that it might be the case.'

She startled him by slamming the bottle down.

'Ok fine. I admit it! I…like Serena. I more than like her.'

He was startled by her admission. He didn't actually think she would say anything on the matter.

'Does she feel the same way?'

'I'm not sure.' She looked sad. 'She's the same with everyone.'

'I think she keeps a certain smile for you.'

Bernie looked hopeful.

'In her eyes. That's where it is when she looks at you.'

As he said it, he realised that it was right under his nose. The two of them, together.

'I kissed her' she blurted out. He raised his eyebrows at the confession.

He gently asked her about the response and wasn't surprised to hear that after initially pulling away, Serena had leapt back on her and enthusiastically continued it. His surprise lay with it being Bernie she did it with. Otherwise that would be the kind of thing she would do with men, rampant heterosexual she was. Not any longer perhaps? Serena didn't do anything by halves.

'If you decide to take it further, I'll be very happy for you two. You've picked a fine woman. Someone who deserves true love.'

Bernie looked gratefully at him. She voiced her opinion that she didn't deserve it just yet after all the things that she'd done but he hushed her. People made mistakes and even what she had done needed to be forgiven at some point. Serena mattered to her and if she'd forgiven her, there was no reason why it couldn't work between them. He left it at that.


End file.
